“Between you, me, and the wall, I don’t know what to do!”
“Why do you need the wall?” She questions.
“Because you are so gassy and always snore when you sleep! I can’t stand sleeping next to you any more, you need to move to the other room!” I said.
I keep on imagining that scene, preparing to tell my girlfriend that I can’t take it anymore. I have been preparing these lines and boosting my confidence for a whole month. I think that now I’m pretty ready for that.

I waited until she got home, “Hey honey I have something that I wanted to talk to you about.”
She looked at me, “What!” replied in a sassy tone.
“So…. I think we should sleep in separate rooms”
“Why?”
“Your feet kind of smell.. You snore… and you release your gas under the blankets. I cannot stand it anymore! Do you know how many times I almost passed out because of it? The night where you were so loud that I couldn’t sleep?”
She crossed her arms and stared at me. “Oh really? And do you know how loud you grind your teeth at night? It sounds like you’re chewing rocks. And last week, you took all the blankets!”
I froze. I didn’t expect that. I said to myself, “That was not in the script.”
“I didn’t know…” I muttered.
She sighed, then started laughing. “Why didn’t you just talk to me nicely instead of acting like a jerk?”
I scratched my head. “I didn’t know what to do…”
“Well now you know, go wash your dirty clothes!”