“We’ve never done anything together that I’ve actually cared about.”

A few months ago, when holding a lily bouquet in front of my love, I felt extremely ecstatic when she gave me her shy smile. Her smile was delicate in every nuance. But now, my love has become someone who persecutes my mind every day. We seem no different from any other lovers – talking endlessly, spending time together regardless of day or night. And yet, perhaps what set us apart was that everything we did came solely from her desires. Hers alone. We went to a decorative flower arranging class, meditation workshops, and now this time as well.

I will have to attend a Haiku poetry gathering with her. Honestly, I find them entirely uninteresting. The old men with glasses, squinting their eyes, which makes the wrinkles on their faces more obvious, struggle to read each word in hoarse voices. Everything was tedious.

I have longed for the day she will accept to go with me to the refined evening of music at my favorite lounge. Together, we will share profound happiness. She will hear songs that seem as if they were composed solely for us. At that very moment, she will see the joy inside me finally break free from the polished masks that I always wear when I am with her.

That day never came.

But can I blame her for everything? Truly, if I put the responsibilities on her, I would be nothing but a disgrace. I have to accept that we were never meant to be together from the beginning. She was elegant and refined; no one has ever forced her to listen to them since she was little. The world always bent to your wishes. While I, an orphan, was never once spoiled or cherished. Loneliness has stayed with me for as long as my memory has been formed. Later, she gave that loneliness a beautiful name – independence. She said she loved me for it. But the vast difference between us filled me with such shame that I could not voice even a single thought. Around her, there were only those polished suits pressed perfectly, gowns meticulously tailored. Even they could not dare to reject your wish. For me, it was just impossible.

When those words came from my own lips, I knew that she would feel upset. She would resent me for behaving in such a manner. Because in the end, a proud-hearted girl like her would definitely find it difficult to accept what I have just done.

And I was right. She looked at me with tear-filled eyes. Then, after casting me a gaze filled with hatred, she ran away. I did not chase after her. I believe that the most beautiful ending for us is to fade from each other’s lives and memories, quietly and completely.

After seeing her personal driver speeding up the car, I walked slowly toward the lounge.