Panic

“Yo! You survived a plane crash?” The overheard conversation becomes faded, my vision blurs and I’m gone. Time warps and crushes my soul, I’m twisted and folded into a knot, then everything snaps. A bright light shined into my eyes. Water drips onto my face as I blink the light away.

“Hey, are you okay?” I look toward a familiar face, Dad. His warm smile eases any worry I once had.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just, it’s been a bit since I’ve boarded onto one of these.”

“I’ve been on plenty of flights and I’m still here. In a year, globally, there are about 70-90 plane crashes, that’s nothing compared to the 100,000 flights there are per day,” He explained.

I shake off any residual anxiety as my family and I board the plane. I feel myself trembling as I find my seat.

After what feels like hours, of safety instructions and the stuffing of personal belongings into overhead compartments, we finally start to take off. My hands grasp the arm rests, as my stomach leaps into my throat. I pop in my headphones begging for the feeling to stop. I focus on the rhythm of my music trying to focus on anything other than the fact I am hundreds of feet in the air. Oxygen can’t get to my lungs fast enough and panic sinks in.

My eyes shoot to my mom hoping for relief, but instead it only makes it worse. In her place, was a fear shocked face. Her eyes dull and gray, her face frozen. Her hair was drenched and pieces matted to her cheek. There’s a bright flash as I turn to my dad only to see a worse fate. Blood and bones mixed with flames. I stand up to see passengers screaming, I watch them scramble to find a way out of this metal coffin.

I take a deep breath only to find my lungs filled with water. I’m screaming, I claw at my throat trying to get the water out. Darkness surrounds me, I’m underwater, I rush to the surface, only to be on the shore of a beach. Police sirens and ambulances ring out, an officer mutters something to me. I look to my hands only to see blood covering them and a misshapen finger. I’m falling, I didn’t even know I was standing up.

The paramedics rush to me as my vision blurs. One comes to my side, “Everything will be okay” she says.

“Hey, hey stay with me.”

I’m shaked when suddenly, I’m jerked by my cousin off to my side. She is in all black, I look down to see me in the same attire. I push her away confused. I touch my face to find hot tears streaming down. I back away only to be pulled from a ledge where two caskets are being lowered into the ground. I finally understand, I stand alone. A feeling of helplessness caresses my soul, dread brings my head to her lap, and despair puts me to bed. Sobs shutter against my lungs and tears escape my eyes.

“hey…. Hey….HEY!” I’m back. “Are you okay?” A stranger, not a stranger, the person from before who asked that other guy that question.

“Mmhm” I responded, his eyes looking me up and down before walking away. I tighten my fist, I gasp for air unaware I hadn’t been breathing. “I’m back,” I reassured myself. My thoughts start to begin again. Why, why do you always have to do this to yourself, you’ve never been on a plane. Plane crashes rarely happen so why did you just do that? Hmmph. Breathe in, breathe out. There is no reason to panic.